OK currently i am facing a life changing decision. I have already made the decision and hope for the best but still i think that this situation can be salvaged so feel free to advice.

Scenerio: Ever since i accpeted NTU as my future second home, i am again challenged by the question of whether to stay in a hostel. I was very keen AT FIRST, but through negative feedbacks about hostel life i was a bit taken aback. At the same time, i am looking for a roomate, one that i can survive with 1 semester. I don't expect that person to be someone i know v well but at least someone i know. I wanted that person to be comfortable with me and someone i m comfortable with.

Ever since my early acceptance of NTU, roomate candidate (note without S) also came along. :D At that time, i was only considering my sec sch fren(i dun have any other choice). Other factors which are affecting my decision revolves around finance, adaptibility, ability to concentrate for my work, able to still stay as who i am etc.. BUT most of all is whether i can stay peacefully with HER. No doubt we r good frens, ever since secondary school. Though we had been in different schools during jc but still we end up in the same uni. We are both glad that our secondary school clique stayed intact, all in NTU. She initiated the idea of staying together, i dint reject her offer but i dint clearly accept it also. After a few meet ups and conversation, i still dont feel confident staying with her. I dont dislike her but staying together make this whole friendship thing into another new perspective, to a higher level and usually there will only be 2 outcome : we become even better frens or we wont even become frens. I am afraid that the latter will come true hence i tried finding excuses to turn down and eventually put off the idea of staying in a hostel as long as our frenship remain as where it is.

2 years may not be long but its not short. I wont dare to say i really understand you neither do you. People do change, till now i still dont understand you. I dont even know the consequence of my decision on you. Will you be angry or will you accept it i have no idea. I have been through a soured friendship because of staying together. Jus like a couple, they have to get used to their living habits before they can marry. Some even divorce due to the difference in lifestyle. Such minor problems once accumulated escalates into a big problem and eventually a separation may deem fit as a solution. I do not want to spoil this friendship of ours i wan it to remain as it is.

OH YA people change. I dun mind my frens chaning, i wont force them to make changes either. I accept my friends as who they are. Nobody is perfect. I know my flaws too but people around me accepted me so me too accept others. I wont tell u straight in the face "hey i dun like that behaviour of u being bla bla bla" NO never will i make such comments. I smile and thats it.

I had made my decision at 11.30pm on June 2nd.

If you are angry, i wont make u read this entry but if u happen to i hope u understand. I had been v troubled for this past few days and felt like a person trying to hide her scandalous relationship during the ancient times. I maybe tagged "betrayal" / "unfaithful" but whatever it is, i hope u will understand. Seriously.