argh!!! i think i m done for..had time trial today n it sucks..i wont buy myself any excuse or explanation..i m lousy n tats it..

almost cried out n the coach niao me even though he dun intend to..he is juz making a casual comment but it shatters my heart into pieces.........................plang..............n more plangs followed..

i really dont know whats happening..its not that i dint train hard..i put effort in it..coach says i m okay n doing well but y m i still lagging behind? i hate it..i wan that feeling back...the light weight of me when i m sprinting 4 yrs back..i know it sounds silly but to me track is all abt feelings...i feel my jumps i feel my run..i dun feel good that day everything juz cock up like they always do nowadays.. i think i m FAT...but the prob is my weight juz stay stagnant down there no matter how much i train...i feel so heavy n when i jump..my projectile motion had become linear motion...my running frequency had dropped to ??x10^-n hz.......i feel resistance of infinite newtons against me...my legs r like immersed in water when i run with resistance of F=Arnv...

enough abt physics which is the shittiest subj i m at...

next, the worst thing is i m already yr 2.....it will be my last yr representing njc n worst my last yr of nats..i had been going home with disappointment every yr..no encouragement or comfort is going to get me through now..for the 1 st yr i told myself there is always next yr..for the 2nd yr: next yr will be a better yr..for the 3rd yr: i will train harder for next yr..for the 4th yr i: maybe nxt yr i may have more chance..for the 5th yr: nxt yr come on i can do it... 6th yr: there is no more nxt yr to come...................................................................................


LOUSY POK................................turned to stone..................................................................................

after having dinner had a bath n after toking to my senior i realised i had been too negative.. i had been posting my complains n blabbering abt stuffs which makes my blog stuffy..which is BAD...i wan u all to have a nice memory of nice place..lolz..anyway i felt betta now..i feel glad that at least my coach (the other one not the mentioned above) know how i m feeling..its as if he can read everything from my face..he looked at me n tell me dun take it to heart its ok..well at that pt of time i really cried abit..haha.. but i rubbed it off quickly..n thks angela for duno how to console me but juz keep on saying jia you..yes i know i will jia you...

whee!!whhooo waaaahhhh hahahaha tml going julz hse mahjong! celebrate julz bday! wad a sudden change of mood..

anyway my feet is so stinky...so smelly eeekk..i can smell it when sitting x-legged which i m now..OMG......its super duper stinky aaaaaaahhhhhh....cant take it anymore *faints*

(edited)